As is par for the course for someone who struggles with food addictive or overeating or, minimally, weight management, I am having trouble with my focus. I have not fallen completely off the wagon, but I am struggling.
I am not as interested or as focused as I have been in the past. I am not sure how to flip that switch, but I am craving food from boredom or entertainment more than sustenance. And as you may know, that is a dangerous place to be.
That being said, I am still 15 or more pounds down from January and 45 pounds or so down from 5 years ago. I want more. I want to challenge myself to move more without discomfort. I want to lessen the impact on my low back and knees.
And I do want to look different. Partly because I want people to take me seriously when discussing the topic and partly, because I want it for me. I want to look in the mirror and see the accomplishment and be more comfortable in my own skin.
Now I am not so uncomfortable that I am going to create an eating disorder or to hate myself. Lord thank you for being able to balance those thoughts. But I do want more. Healthfully, I think that is a positive. While be comfortable in your body is important, I don't want to get complacent.
Lord help me to make healthy choices, to find ways to move more, to have a thrist for activity. I don't want to take my movement for granted or your creation. Sitting down in front of the TV does not benefit me or bring me closer to you. I want more. So now what?
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